Tween Behavior - Say Goodbye To Your Back Talk Tween

Talking back in a rude tone, the sucking of teeth under their breath, the snide remarks when asked to do something, the snappy attitude when they have to do something they don't want to do, rolling their eyes the minute you start to talk is all bad tween behavior, with the most common being back talk. Tween back talk accompanied by a rude tone and body language has to be the single most annoying, exhausting thing parents of tweens have to put up with. It comes along everyday with just about every situation - unless they are getting something they want - but if not, God help you!

With the onset of adolescence tweens are trying to figure out who they are as individuals, separate from their parents. There are also outside influences such as cell phones and text messaging. emails and chat rooms that allow tweens to nurture their relationships with their friends and develop closer bonds.  This results in pushing their parents away at an earlier age.

In tween behavior Boys and girls act differently.  Boys are more withdrawn and defiant where as girls are more dramatic and tend to over react to the smallest of situations.

Tween back talk is to some degree normal, however, that does not mean that it can't get worse or out of control.  Just like with so many other areas of childhood and growing up, this is an area that needs to be addressed each time it rears it's ugly head. Here is some advice on how to handle those tween behavior attitudes so that you and your tween can live together in peace and harmony.

• Parental Status, not friendship.
  Throughout the stage of tweenhood it is important that you maintain your parental status and do away with the "I want to be my tweens friend" status. Your tween will learn to behave appropriately by the way you deal with him in whatever various situations arise.

• As your tweens independence grows and he struggles to find his individualism you need to be sure you introduce very clear rules. Take into consideration the areas of importance such as right from wrong, honesty, kindness and marks in school.  Ignore the more trivial things such as his or her hair style or preferred style of clothing.

• Make sure your tween knows where you draw the line when it comes to his back talk and tween behavior.  You might decide to ignore the sucking of his teeth and mumbles under his breath but will you be so kind as to ignore him walking away from you and slamming his bedroom door or shouting back at you? Your tween needs to know exactly what behavior you will not tolerate by any means.

•  Nip tween behavior in the bud as soon as it starts.  Don't wait till your tween is already shouting and screaming at you for weeks on end before you take the bull by the horns.  Instead make the rules clear from the very first sign of tween back talk. Let your tween know that you understand this stage of growing up and you know what he or she is going through and that you are here for him, but that even a good friend won't hang around if he behaves badly toward them.

•  Decide on an age appropriate punishment for violations.  When it comes to dealing with tween behavior and punishments, parents have to be consistent and let their tween know that unacceptable behavior will have a negative effect on his or life, one that will definitely impose on their tween social life or hobbies. Punishing your tween by not taking them shopping is not such a big deal but punishing your tween with not going out on the weekend or taking away their cell phone or computer privileges will have more of an effect and make them think twice. Make sure you keep your upper hand.  It is highly important that you choose punishments wisely and follow through with them, otherwise your tween will not take you seriously.

• When faced with poor tween behavior remain calm but stern, try not to shout, you don't want to be behaving in the way you are trying to teach your tween not to.  

• Remember that respect is a two way street, although it can be a difficult thought to keep in mind when the heated arguments start because your tweens behavior is out the door.  You will need to always, no matter how many times you said it-you have to keep telling them that the name calling and abuse is hurtful and remain respectful to them no matter how hot the flames are.  Help teach them by example.

• When things do get heated gain control of the situation by taking a breather,  a step back, put the drama on pause and take a breather.  Doing this will also encourage your tween to do the same when faced with heated arguments in his life and also show maturity and sensibility. This will also enable both parties to calm down and collect their thoughts, possibly giving your tween the chance to turn it around and address the situation in a more appropriate manner.  If you have been working on these points you might find it is here that you get an apology for bad tween behavior from your very own tween.

•  Spend some one on one time with your tween.  Don't make it a big deal but more of a casual approach.  If your taking a trip to the store ask your tween to join you and let them have the lead in conversation.  It doesn't matter what the conversation is about, when your tween gets comfortable with this he will begin to open up and the conversation could change course to things you might want to know. 

• Make yourself available to your tween when he needs to talk. It is hard at times to stop in the middle of a task or important situation but it is necessary so that your tween can see and feel that you care about his needs and thoughts and that he is just as important as everything else in your life.  It also gives you a chance to know what is going on his life no matter how trivial it may seem to you as an adult it is important to your tween and he needs your help.  If you really can't break away at the time he approaches you then set an appointment for a short time later and keep the appointment time. Experts say that a tween is more likely to approach his parents if he feels they will listen and not lose their cool or judge unimportant facts.

• Put a "Family Night" into action, on the same night every week. Spend time together without any outside disturbances.  This means no cell phones, no video games, no outside influences or disturbances at all, the same goes for mom and dad.  Set some activities into place such as cooking, setting the table and other preparations for dinner.  Play games or just sit and chat.

Remember that although bad tween behavior does come along with the territory of having a tween, it can get out of control and become unbearable to live around, turning your darling sweet child into a monster from hell - so take these steps into account in order to get tween back talk and bad tween behavior under control. By putting these actions into motion  you will also be preparing yourself and your tween to have a better relationship when tween becomes teen. 

Good Parenting: Healthy Lunch Box Challenge

Ahhh... the good ole lunch box / snack-box challenge. And yes, if your good parenting then you know it is exactly that - a challenge! Oh sure it's easy if your just gonna throw any ole edible item and beverage in there, but if you are attempting to provide a healthy, yet delicious snack or lunch for your child, with the hopes he won't trade it for someone else's junk food, then you know the constraints of the situation.

A child's energy, attention span and stamina at school depends much on his nutrition. Good parenting means giving your child a healthy breakfast and lunch or snack, which is just as important as being in a good school and having a good teacher. Just as important as hygiene, and just as important as learning to be a nice person. Unfortunately not all parents take the time to ensure a nutritious meal and send their kids to school with a box full of junk, making it harder for the other kids to be interested in their healthy snack, which furthers to a parents frustration when the healthy lunch or snack box comes home untouched.

Good parenting means recognizing that it isn't always a good idea to solely rely on school cafeteria lunches, because although the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) says school lunches should provide one-third of a child's nutrition needs, meeting caloric needs alone is not necessarily nutritious enough. Calorie dense makes no sense if the meal is not also healthy.

Tips To A Well Balanced Lunch

A lunch consisting of a lean meat, whole grain, low-fat dairy product and fruit and/or vegetable is a well-balanced, healthy lunch. 1-2 to of these is good for a balanced healthy snack. Packing a sandwich with lean meat or tuna fish is good – but making that sandwich with whole grain bread, a good source of fiber, is even better. However, unless from very early on a child is accustomed to eating brown bread, kids usually become totally uninterested in their sandwich if it's made with brown bread. A good idea is to start off slowly but keeping the healthy sandwich on white bread but making sure you have also packed their favorite fruit to compensate for the brown bread. Include a few carrots and cucumbers as well, or their veg of choice that is packable. Tell your kids that if they don't want the brown bread they have to eat a fruit and veg along with their sandwich.

Pack a bottle of water instead of juice boxes. Most juice boxes are high in sugar. However, water will keep a child hydrated without the sugar rush, extra calories and a lowered immune system. Water is also beneficial to the skin, as well many other parts of the body. If your child insists on the juice then dilute the juice in a water bottle.

Involve your child in the decision making of his lunch or snack. This helps to alleviate swapping his food with others. Use the opportunity to chat about healthy eating but try and make it fun and entertaining and not like a classroom experience.

Help keep your child from using his milk money for junk food by packing a dessert. You can satisfy your child's sweet need with tiny amounts of junk food mix in with healthy foods. A small amount of M&M's with trail mix, one cookie with yogurt, fruits topped with raisins and a little caramel or chocolate sauce or dipping sauce. Try making muffins or cookies with pureed vegetable in the ingredients.

So if your going to make a lunch or snack box, take a few extra minutes to make it count toward your child's well being and functionality through out the day. It will take some time for your child to get used to his new foods so use the suggestions above as well as be creative and before you know it your child will be accustomed to his new healthy friends and coming home with an empty lunch or snack box. As a parent you will have earned an "A" in parenting for the healthy lunch box challenge.

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Healthy Kids: Get Them Outdoors!

I recently came across a website that encourages families to spend more time outdoors, learning to appreciate nature, which further encourages our children to grow up to be "Green" friendly. According to Green Hour, In the last two decades, American childhood has moved indoors. The average boy or girl spends just four to seven minutes outdoors every day. Studies show that children who spend regular time outdoors are healthier, happier and grow up with a love of nature.

Green Hour Program is a part of the The National Wildlife Federation and encourages all Americans to
Be Out There and support its national campaign to give back to our children what they don’t even know they’ve lost: childhood’s essential wildness and connection to the natural world.

Now, a growing wave of research indicates that children who spend time outdoors are healthier, overall,than their indoor counterparts.

The National Wildlife Federation recommends that parents give their kids a "Green Hour" every day, a time for unstructured play and interaction with the natural world. This can take place in a garden, a backyard, the park down the street, or any place that provides safe and accessible green spaces where children can learn and play.

This great program is free to join and will send you activities that adults and kids can enjoy outside. Their website also offers, books, games and activities, parents' guide, resources, downloads and photo tips to help you get great pictures that you can share with the "Be Out There" Online Community.

I hope all of you that read this will take advantage of this original, sure fire campaign and sign up today. It's free, fun, and beneficial on so many levels in a child's life, and yours!

5 Secrets To A Smiling Santa Photo

So you want that perfect, smiling Santa photo do you? Are you going to get one this year or is it going to be a screaming nightmare?

My daughter turned five years old this year and until now I do not have a Santa photo of her for Christmas' past. Why? Simple, being a shy child, who would not let anyone hold her except her father and I (not even grandparents), I knew there was no point in taking her to have her picture taken with Santa unless I could be happy with a picture like this one on the right, and feel good about it which I would not have.

So I learned to do without the Santa photos over the past 4 years but have come into possession of some very helpful tips to help avoid screaming and fear over sitting on Santa's lap for a picture.

Before we get into getting that non screaming picture with Santa it is important for parents to know how to handle the situation of fear with their child correctly for good and positive parenting. As parents we need to learn how to support our child in times of fear, as baby to child years has many different fears, which we as adults cannot gauge but a child's fears are just as bad as ours and worse, because young kids do not have a concept of time, or procedure in which to rely on for support in facing their fears. They only have us, their parents and how we handle their fears and get them through it in a positive nature is highly important toward their mental and psychological growth and toward their confidence as an older child and adult.

Toward the end of this article are you will find important information on handling a young child's fear in situations and the reasons behind why it is important to do.

Now here are some secrets to eliminating a precious but screaming face in your child's Santa Photo

Familiarize Your Child

It's helpful if your child is familiar with Santa Clause and is able to see him in real life, as apposed to just TV or books. Let your child see other children sitting on Santa's lap and taking pictures, but don't make a big deal about it. As your walking and shopping be sure to pass by the Santa's Grotto so your child can see Santa and his interaction with other kids.

Ask your child if he wants a picture taken with Santa and evaluate his response. If he seems to hesitant, offer to take the picture with him. If he seems ready to go for it then take him back to the picture taking session the following day. It is suggested this conversation take place after leaving the shopping center as apposed to doing it right in front of Santa's Grotto. This is so that your child feels relaxed and not put on the spot while he assess the situation. If he decides to go for it, take your child back to Santa's Grotto the following day.

Friends, Toys and Snacks

Kids often want to do something but their fear holds them back. To assist your child in not changing his mind when it comes time to sit on Santa's lap try the following:

*Let him take a friend with him.

*Let him take his favorite snack with him, even it's something you prefer he doesn't have. After all, this is a special occasion and hopefully next year all will be well.

*Let him take his favorite toy to give him to give him courage.

Distraction Can Work Wonders

Distract your child so that he is more interested in his own thing, as apposed to the thing he may be fearing, which in this case is simply taking a Santa Photo.

*Use finger puppets for him to play with while waiting in line.; Let him keep the finger puppet on his finger throughout the entire process of sitting on Santa's lap to taking the picture.

*If your child is a learning buff then take flash cards small enough for him to hold in his hands and work them with him as you are standing in line.; Try and keep it going even seconds before it's his turn to walk up to Santa for the picture.

*Don't take time to try and get that perfect pose, perfect clothes and perfect smile. Often times the unposed moments are the most memorable memories and the better photos. Plus, too much fiddling around will only get you closer to a teary eyed crying photo.

Mom, Dad, or Both

A friend of mine took her 2 kids (2 years old and 4 years old) to have their picture taken with Santa. This was the second time they had tried it and both kids were screaming their lil heads off in fear. My friend then had a thought that was actually a great memory for herself and her kids.  She, at 40 years old had her picture taken with Santa while her kids watched in line.  It didn't convince them to have their picture taken at that time but when she took the picture home, compared it to her Santa pictures when she was a young girl and shared it with her kids, they wanted to go back and have their pictures done as well. The next day she took them and she finally has her first kids' Santa picture that she has so patiently waited for.

A great idea for a good laugh, original idea with a happy ending, and most of all now her kids want to go everyday for their Santa picture!

Try it and let me know if it works for you and don't forget to post me the picture, and your story, so I can share it on my Blogs.

Parenting Education when dealing with fear.

I have seen many Santa photos with screaming, crying, hysterical kids and it actually upsets me. A child's fear should never be dismissed, laughed at or taken lightly, especially for something as trivial as a photo. Although as adults we know that there is nothing for them to fear, a child does not have this same notion. Just as a woman would be scared to death to walk into a room with a rapist and have no protection, a child experiences that same fear, and even worse, as young children do not have the knowledge of time, or procedure in which they can rely on for comfort. As adults, We know the picture only takes seconds but a young child does not know seconds and does not know the procedure of the moment of fear he is involved in. Parents should never lesson their child's trust in them by forcing them to carry through with fearful moments.

In the event you are standing in line with your child, or actually get to the front of the line, it's your child's turn and suddenly everything changes and your child begins to show fear at sitting on Santa's lap for the photo, parents need to respect their child's feelings and gracefully and graciously accept it, support the child and remove them from the fearful situation - in this case pass on the picture taking event for the time being.

When you and your child leave the line, do not show disgrace, agitation or disappointment in your child. This will only make your child feel bad about himself and make him feel as though he is not good enough for you. It will also add trauma to the situation of Santa picture taking and can easily delay his acceptance of it when he remembers how mom or dad were angry at him for being scared, he will shy away from the process all together. In a nutshell, where there was no bad experience with Santa taking pictures, if a parent behaves badly for the failure of it, this causes a bad memory for your child and causes him stress in the process. You are also lessening his trust in you by not supporting him when he needs you most, and adding to a lack of self esteem.

Instead, compliment your child on how long he stood in line and how he was almost able to do it. Show support, love and tenderness and let him know he can always try again next year or in a week or so if he chooses. Once at home parents can release their frustrations by screaming into their pillow if they wish. Toddler Fears and Solutions

Teen Obesity - Over Weight Child To Obese Teen

Teen obesity is no longer becoming a nationwide problem, it is a nation wide problem. Approximately 70 million Americans are obese. More than one in three of all adults and one in five of all children are overweight, and unless there is intervention to assist, these children are likely to become obese by the time they are teens, which is exactly what the world is seeing today.  Over weight kids becoming obese teens.

The older a child gets the harder it is to get them on track with a healthy diet and lifestyle.  The older a child gets the harder it is for him to adhere to a healthy diet.  Lets face it, there are mouth watering goodies around us every minute and a teen normally doesn't have the discipline required to adhere to a diet when every one else around them is eating as they please. As adults we know how hard it is for us to remain on and follow a diet, so you can imagine how difficult it is for young kids and teens. 

The change needs to start at home with parents setting a good example toward healthy eating and lifestyle. Expecting an over weight or obese child to adhere to a diet while his parents are eating to their hearts content is not logical and makes the difficult task of dieting even harder for the child. When parents tell their child they need to eat healthy and exercise to remain fit, healthy and in shape but they themselves put no or little effort into doing the same, they are contradicting themselves and adding to the problem of overweight or obese teens.

If your child is over weight or obese consider making healthy lifestyle changes along side your child, setting an example and at the same time gaining fitness and health yourself. This creates a partnership throughout the struggle of weight loss and sets a positive tone and relationship between you and your child. This can also help with the emotional struggle that comes with being over weight or obese, such as depression, which is caused by lack of self esteem, bullying, and isolation.

Choose a diet and nutrition program, set goals, start the process, and together with your child walk the road of health, fitness, wellness, and a stress free lifestyle. Together with your teen eliminate obesity and gain health.

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Bicycling As Childhood Obesity Antidote

Natural Remedy For Constipation

Not only is constipation uncomfortable but it also means toxins are trapped in the body, as you are not able to relieve yourself means your gut is not able to perform the release of toxins. Over the counter constipation medicines are not usually administered to young children with the exception of a suppository, which is not easy to administer, difficult on a young child, and cannot be used too often. So why not whip up a natural remedy at home that is safe and effective for child use, and also houses health benefits that come from the nutrients of flax seeds.

This natural remedy for constipation is effective and child-use safe.  Why not give it a shot!

Constipation Natural Home Remedy

Ingredients

-1 tbls flax seeds
- 1/3 cup of clean water
- 1 glass or cup

Directions

1.Add the flax seeds to the water.
2.Cover to keep the water clean.
3.Allow them to soak overnight.
4.Drink in the morning on an empty stomach

Usually, doctors won't prescribe an over the counter medicine for constipation to a baby, toddler or pre-schooler, except a suppository, which is not easy to administer and parents often take their child to the doctor to have it done. But this constipation natural remedy does not have side effects like over the counter medication, is easier to use, more cost effective, and is an effective remedy, that can be used whenever constipation rears it's ugly head.

Bee Sting & Bug Bite First Aid and Natural Remedy Recipes

It is important that parents and caretakers have a first aid box and procedure book on hand, in the home, in the event of accidents, illnesses, and emergencies. Here are some natural ways to disinfect, soothe, and prevent further swelling of bug bites, bee and wasp stings and first aid procedure for removing a stinger.

Bug bites are often painful, terribly itchy, and can swell up to quite large.

A bee or wasp sting is painful and the sooner you remove the stinger and treat the wound, the better and faster there will be relief and less swelling.

You can easily and effectively treat bug bites, bee and wasp stings and even black widow spider bites with these natural remedies.

It is important to follow first aid procedures first before applying the remedy for healing.

First Aid Treatment

DO NOT SQUEEZE THE STINGER AT ALL WHILE IT IS STILL IN THE SKIN.

1. Remove the stinger carefully and slowly. DO NOT SQUEEZE IT. Squeezing it will release further venom into the blood stream. Immediately discard the stinger in the trash.

2. Clean the wound with an antiseptic.

Natural Remedies Recipes

Plantain Leaves Natural Remedy

1.  Crush plantain leaves to extract their juice.

2. Apply the juice over the wound and apply a loose band aid.

Toothpaste Home Remedy

1. Apply toothpaste to the wound and cover with a band aid.

Homeopathic Remedy #1

-Apply Apis Mallifica 30x to reduce inflammation, pain, burning and stinging.

-Cover with a band aid

Homeopathic Remedy #2

-Apply Cantharis 30c for bee or wasp stings and cover with a band aid.

Homeopathic Remedy #3 - For severe allergic reactions to bee stings or black widow bites

-Apply Carbolicum Acidum, 30 c and cover with a band aid

Homeopathic Remedy #4

For itching, pain, and burning

-Apply Urtica Urens, 30c and cover with band aid.

Insect Bite Oil

-1tsp lavender essential oil (stops itching and reduces swelling)

-1 tbls vegetable oil

-Mix ingredients and apply to the wound. Cover with band aid.

DO NOT USE THIS OIL AROUND EYE AREA

Extra strength Sting Paste

-1 tbls Echinacea root tincture

- 1 tbls distilled water

-1/8 tsp lavender essential oil

-1 tbls Bentonite clay

-Combine Echinacea, water, lavender and mix.

-While stirring the clay, slowly and gradually add the mixture.

-Apply this paste to the wound. It will stick to the skin.

Store the paste in an air tight container to avoid it drying out.  If it does dry out add a little water to bring it back to paste form.  Use over a few days if need be.

Avoid Mosquito bites with this natural remedy, which acts as a mosquito repellent.

-1 tsp Lavender oil

-Rosemary (seasoning from the grocery store)

-Grind both together and apply to your skin.

Do you know?

• Do you know that applying sugar over a bite wound will keep it from scarring?

• Do you know a slice of raw onion on an animal bite will fight infection and draw out any poison?

Parents can prepare the above natural remedies ahead of time, store them in an air tight container and keep them in the first aid box or natural remedy cabinet so they are ready to use when bug bites or bee stings occur.