Parenting Help: 9 Slip Ups to Avoid in Toddlerhood

The best parenting help in the world would be if each toddler came with an individual owner's manual to assist parents in the trying times of toddlerhood.  Sure there is plenty of helpful advice out there from other moms and dads and professionals, but every child is different, with a different temperament so usually parents end up on a trial and error basis when using parenting help to assist in raising their toddler.  Much of parenting is trial and error and not giving up until you find the help that works best for you and your toddler.  A perfect example of this is a toddler's bedtime - getting them to go to bed without a fuss and remain in bed throughout the night.

This particular parenting help is to lend you a hand in avoiding the slips ups that end up slowing down our efforts and working against quicker successes. When dealing with toddlers, regardless of the technique you are using for whatever situations, avoid these nine slips ups to help your ride be a little less bumpy and support whatever technique you are using for whatever situation.

Slip Up #1: Not Enough One on One

Make no mistake that family time is important but be cautious not to go overboard but rather concentrate more on having one-on-one time with each child. Professionals have always stressed to parents how children, especially toddlers love one-on-one time with their parents.

Simply get on the floor with them and play.  No distractions, no TV, no telephone calls - just you and your toddler.  Let him see that at that time he is the only thing that matters.

Slip Up #2: Being Inconsistent

Engraving your toddlers life with consistency is what will award you with a more durable and agreeable toddler.  Toddlers especially thrive when they know what to expect. Like a consistent bath time and bedtime, and even what to expect when they are not behaving.

The parenting help to assist in fixing this problem is to keep regular routines for your toddler.  Have a system set up with your partner ahead of time that both of you will use when your toddler acts up.  Make sure your caregiver adhere to the same system and make it clear that regardless of whether she agrees with it or not she must follow the same system as you and your partner.  Systems will change and be revised as your toddler grows through the stages of childhood.

Slip Up # 3: Too Much Explaining

 Dr. Phelan explains that at the time when a parent says "No" to something, and the toddler insists, and then parent begins to explain, once again why - this is what Dr. Phelan calls the talk-persuade-argue-yell-hit pattern. The argument goes back and forth with tears from the toddler and further agitation building in the parent. 

Once you lay down the law avoid eye contact.  If toddler disobeys, give a BRIEF verbal warning.  If toddler persists then go into whatever consequence you decide to use for this type of misbehaving, such as time out or, some parents will simply ignore their toddlers continuous demand once they have already laid down the law.  This is the what I use with my toddler and it works quite well. I say it once, if she argues, I give a brief verbal warning, if she continues I ignore her demands within the particular situation at hand.  Remember that toddler's are not adults and are not able to grasp reasons for things so explaining is not accomplishing anything except frustration.  

 Slip up #4: Serving Only Toddler Foods or Favorite Foods

Feeding your toddler only fish sticks and fries or mac and cheese will prevent him from wanting to eat anything else.  Doing this early on will cause you to have to break bad habits and enforce new ones which we all know is a tough task.

Encourage your toddler, as early on as possible, to eat grown up foods, healthy ones of course. If you do this early on you will find they are less reluctant to try new foods and will have a broad desire for different type foods.

Don't always fall prey to their, "I don't like it!" Introduce new foods one at a time, if they resist, wait a week and then try again with that same food. Toddlers who are conditioned to eat the same kiddie foods, will often say they don't like another food just because they don't want it but after a few tries they will usually go for it and thus broadening their scope of meals.

Picky eater toddlers are quite common so by introducing new foods at a regular pace you help them open up to different types and tastes of food. If they fight you, don't make a fuss and don't allow yourself to become a personal chef to your toddler as this will open a whole other can of worms you will have to deal with.

Slip Up #5: Lending Too Much Help

When you see your toddler taking time to do something or struggling a bit, think twice before you jump in and help.  Constantly helping your toddler before you have given him a chance to succeed on his own is sending him a message that he is incompetent or incapable of doing something. You will also be interfering with their ability to become self-reliant.

Of course, there are times when a toddler does need help but give your toddler the chance to see it through on his own. When you do offer help, avoid completing the task for him. Only help a little and then allow him to continue on his own. Cheer your toddler on as he works at his task and encourage him not to give up.  Children need to learn to endure struggle and persevere, an important parenting skill to start teaching during the toddler years. 

Slip Up # 6: Potty Training Too Soon

Another very common slip up, parents inveigle their toddlers into potty training to soon.  They tend to use harsh and abrupt reprimands which turn into a power struggle, putting a very negative, unhappy tone for their toddlers, which usually backfires and does not get the results they think it will.  This type of behavior can easily cause the training to take even more time, making your toddler feel insecure and less likely to even attempt toilet use.

Parenting help says parents can set the tone for their toddler by introducing the toilet and briefly explaining what its use is. Consider showing your toddler how the toilet is used by using it yourself and he can watch.  In good time your toddler will want to copy you, and at this point you can praise his wonderful new skill of using the toilet.  Don't forget to introduce the skill of washing hands along with toilet so the two tasks become one complete measure.

Slip Up# 7:  Big Kids Bed Too Soon

I have always been puzzled as to why this slip up is so common as well. A baby's crib not only keeps them safe but it also helps enforce good sleep and bedtime habits. Moving your child to a bed before he is ready will play havoc with his sleep patterns and put parents in a position of exhaustion when they find themselves in the position to lay in bed with their toddler until he falls asleep, or the other side of this picture is all too common which is toddlers waking in the middle of the night and climbing into bed with mom and dad.

When your toddler starts climbing out of his crib or asks for a real bed, this is the best time to begin the change from crib to bed.  This usually comes between the ages of 2 to 3.

Slip Up #8: Allowing Too Much TV/Movie Time

Professionals will tell you that according to recent studies toddlers who watch too much TV often have glitches in their learning abilities later on.  Too much TV also promotes laziness and you will find your toddler doesn't want to do anything else but watch TV. Watching too much television is also associated with overweight kids in childhood.

Instead of TV keep your toddler active by helping him use his imagination through pretend play, creative games, reading, outdoor activities.  Talk to your toddler to promote language, verbal skills, and listening.  The less TV time your toddler has the better.

Slip Up #9: Handling a Tantrum

Here is a parent's biggest nightmare, especially when it happens in public.  Why? We feel judged and for whatever reason a toddler having a tantrum in public makes parents feel inadequate in their parenting, which is ridiculous because all toddlers have tantrums regardless of their mom and dad's parenting level.

There is no point in trying to talk your toddler out of his tantrum, and there is no point losing your temper because it only makes things worse and will make your toddler cry and scream even more. Remember it is your toddler who is most important and not people and their opinions.  Not to mention most of these people have simply forgotten that they too were once in the same position as you, or they simply have not yet dealt with their child having a tantrum. Ignore the glares; don't even look around to see if anyone is looking at you.  If someone has something to say put a smile on your face and ask them if they remember the days of toddlerhood. Then, take your toddler to a change of location away from the public eye and let the tantrum run its course.  Once your toddler is finished his tantrum, give him a loving smile and hug and carry on with your day.

With this parenting help you now know 9 slips ups to avoid when traveling through the toddler years, helping to make parenting in toddlerhood a little less of a bumpy road and adding more value to your parenting skills.

More Parenting Help

As a mom or mom to be are you aware of the consequences of too much weight gain in pregnancy? Please share this information with other moms and moms to be - it's such an important topic!

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Good Parenting: Help with Child Stealing

Your five year old is definitely old enough to know he should not be taking things without asking or paying for them. In other words he is old enough to know that stealing is not acceptable. If you are like many parents who have arrived home to find there little one had taken something that does not belong to him, utilize these good parenting guidelines with help for child stealing. 

1.  Although you may very well know your child has stolen,  do not lose your temper and immediately begin accusing him.  Instead, ask him how he managed to pay for that or who gave it to him. Give him a chance to be honest.  Most kids at this age are  honest when they are asked directly about a situation.

2.  Once you have established that he has stolen, calmly put across your disapproval.  State that stealing is hurtful to himself, his parents and the people he is stealing from. Give an example of how he would feel if someone stole his favorite toy or his pet.

3.  Let the first offense go with a warning but if it happens again you need to put down a punishment.  Good parenting requires that you communicate this rule to your child and ensure that they understand that next time they will be punished.

4.  Another rather tough but necessary good parenting guidelines for help with child stealing is to hold your child responsible for his actions by having him return the item and apologize.   This can be a rather stressful task so do it together with your child and offer support.  This task alone will make quite an impact and is often enough to make your child never want to take anything again without asking.

Stealing once or twice as a young child is quite common but good parenting skills for handling child stealing requires that you handle the situation calmly, immediately and seriously.  Do not just assume that because it is common that it will just pass on it's own.  Make sure your child knows the rules of punishment and that he is made to return the item and apologize with your help. If stealing happens often talk to your doctor to see if there could be an underlying problem.

Toddler Eating: Tips To Create Healthy Eaters

The first tip to creating healthy toddler eating is a rather obvious one but one that is often overlooked or not adhered to. It is vital that parents provide healthy foods by keeping the shopping on a healthy level for everyone in the family not just their toddler or baby. Good parenting means providing good healthy meals at least 90% of the time.


Remember that by toddler age, your child should pretty much be eating the same as the family. If not, this means you are still making separate healthy meals for your toddler. Yikes, that's a lot of work to carry on doing for years to come, not to mention your child will notice that no one else in the family is made to adhere to to eat healthy eating and there for must not be that important. Hence, your toddlers attitude will change toward his meals and you will begin to have mealtime nightmares when your toddler does not want to eat his food but his older sisters or brothers or mom or dads.

When doing the shopping keep the idea of "Variety" in mind. This is important so that you can offer your toddler a variety of foods and dishes in small amounts, in a simple non fussy way. Doing this will encourage him to try new foods over a period of time and understand the idea of choice and educate him on the many different foods available.

Ensuring their toddlers get the daily health requirements from their meals and snacks is one of the biggest daily good parenting concerns. The best way to do this is to plan meals and snacks around the five major foods groups displayed in the food pyramid. (Cereals, bread, pasta, rice, fruits and vegetables, meat and fish)

Ages 2-5 years need the same number of servings in each food group as an adult but their serving sizes are about one third smaller than an adult.

After trying out different approaches I find it easiest to put a weekly meal plan together and do my weekly shopping around that. This way meals and snacks are planned for the week and I don't have to worry about what to cook or give for snacks. I also know I have the ingredients required for each meal and don't have to take time to go to the store. I also devote half of one day to cooking some meals or snacks ahead of time and freezing them so that I have more free time during the week and less hassle with cooking.

Snacks play a big role in the day of a toddler. With snacks you have another way of fulfilling your child's nutritional needs as well as open his taste buds to new foods. Snack time should be fun and become a good toddler eating time that he looks forward to but also carries healthy benefits.

• Offer a variety of snacks throughout the week.

• Avoid large portions as they are often overwhelming and wasted.

• With smaller portions your toddler can always ask for more.

When you give a junk food snack always add healthy foods to it. For example: If you give ice cream, instead of chocolate syrup use honey with nuts and raisins as a topping. When you make baked goods add a puree vegetable to the mix before baking and use wholemeal flour instead of white. When you bake with chocolate or use chocolate for anything, use dark chocolate as it holds an abundance of anti oxidants. Keep this idea in mind whenever you give your toddler junk food.

With this tactic even junk food will have some benefit to it and your toddler will learn to always incorporate a healthy food with whatever he eats because he watched mom and dads good parenting while growing up. It also shows your toddler throughout his growth that goodies are fine in moderation and can taste just as good when healthy tid-bits are added and there is no need to overindulge.

Toddler eating does not have to be the hassle it has become.  Good parenting means the sooner you introduce your toddler to different foods and make meal times fun and non stressful the easier your road will be in setting up your toddler for a lifelong commitment to good eating habits, good nutrition, and a healthy lifestyle.

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Good Parenting: Healthy Lunch Box Challenge

Ahhh... the good ole lunch box / snack-box challenge. And yes, if your good parenting then you know it is exactly that - a challenge! Oh sure it's easy if your just gonna throw any ole edible item and beverage in there, but if you are attempting to provide a healthy, yet delicious snack or lunch for your child, with the hopes he won't trade it for someone else's junk food, then you know the constraints of the situation.

A child's energy, attention span and stamina at school depends much on his nutrition. Good parenting means giving your child a healthy breakfast and lunch or snack, which is just as important as being in a good school and having a good teacher. Just as important as hygiene, and just as important as learning to be a nice person. Unfortunately not all parents take the time to ensure a nutritious meal and send their kids to school with a box full of junk, making it harder for the other kids to be interested in their healthy snack, which furthers to a parents frustration when the healthy lunch or snack box comes home untouched.

Good parenting means recognizing that it isn't always a good idea to solely rely on school cafeteria lunches, because although the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) says school lunches should provide one-third of a child's nutrition needs, meeting caloric needs alone is not necessarily nutritious enough. Calorie dense makes no sense if the meal is not also healthy.

Tips To A Well Balanced Lunch

A lunch consisting of a lean meat, whole grain, low-fat dairy product and fruit and/or vegetable is a well-balanced, healthy lunch. 1-2 to of these is good for a balanced healthy snack. Packing a sandwich with lean meat or tuna fish is good – but making that sandwich with whole grain bread, a good source of fiber, is even better. However, unless from very early on a child is accustomed to eating brown bread, kids usually become totally uninterested in their sandwich if it's made with brown bread. A good idea is to start off slowly but keeping the healthy sandwich on white bread but making sure you have also packed their favorite fruit to compensate for the brown bread. Include a few carrots and cucumbers as well, or their veg of choice that is packable. Tell your kids that if they don't want the brown bread they have to eat a fruit and veg along with their sandwich.

Pack a bottle of water instead of juice boxes. Most juice boxes are high in sugar. However, water will keep a child hydrated without the sugar rush, extra calories and a lowered immune system. Water is also beneficial to the skin, as well many other parts of the body. If your child insists on the juice then dilute the juice in a water bottle.

Involve your child in the decision making of his lunch or snack. This helps to alleviate swapping his food with others. Use the opportunity to chat about healthy eating but try and make it fun and entertaining and not like a classroom experience.

Help keep your child from using his milk money for junk food by packing a dessert. You can satisfy your child's sweet need with tiny amounts of junk food mix in with healthy foods. A small amount of M&M's with trail mix, one cookie with yogurt, fruits topped with raisins and a little caramel or chocolate sauce or dipping sauce. Try making muffins or cookies with pureed vegetable in the ingredients.

So if your going to make a lunch or snack box, take a few extra minutes to make it count toward your child's well being and functionality through out the day. It will take some time for your child to get used to his new foods so use the suggestions above as well as be creative and before you know it your child will be accustomed to his new healthy friends and coming home with an empty lunch or snack box. As a parent you will have earned an "A" in parenting for the healthy lunch box challenge.

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5 Secrets To A Smiling Santa Photo

So you want that perfect, smiling Santa photo do you? Are you going to get one this year or is it going to be a screaming nightmare?

My daughter turned five years old this year and until now I do not have a Santa photo of her for Christmas' past. Why? Simple, being a shy child, who would not let anyone hold her except her father and I (not even grandparents), I knew there was no point in taking her to have her picture taken with Santa unless I could be happy with a picture like this one on the right, and feel good about it which I would not have.

So I learned to do without the Santa photos over the past 4 years but have come into possession of some very helpful tips to help avoid screaming and fear over sitting on Santa's lap for a picture.

Before we get into getting that non screaming picture with Santa it is important for parents to know how to handle the situation of fear with their child correctly for good and positive parenting. As parents we need to learn how to support our child in times of fear, as baby to child years has many different fears, which we as adults cannot gauge but a child's fears are just as bad as ours and worse, because young kids do not have a concept of time, or procedure in which to rely on for support in facing their fears. They only have us, their parents and how we handle their fears and get them through it in a positive nature is highly important toward their mental and psychological growth and toward their confidence as an older child and adult.

Toward the end of this article are you will find important information on handling a young child's fear in situations and the reasons behind why it is important to do.

Now here are some secrets to eliminating a precious but screaming face in your child's Santa Photo

Familiarize Your Child

It's helpful if your child is familiar with Santa Clause and is able to see him in real life, as apposed to just TV or books. Let your child see other children sitting on Santa's lap and taking pictures, but don't make a big deal about it. As your walking and shopping be sure to pass by the Santa's Grotto so your child can see Santa and his interaction with other kids.

Ask your child if he wants a picture taken with Santa and evaluate his response. If he seems to hesitant, offer to take the picture with him. If he seems ready to go for it then take him back to the picture taking session the following day. It is suggested this conversation take place after leaving the shopping center as apposed to doing it right in front of Santa's Grotto. This is so that your child feels relaxed and not put on the spot while he assess the situation. If he decides to go for it, take your child back to Santa's Grotto the following day.

Friends, Toys and Snacks

Kids often want to do something but their fear holds them back. To assist your child in not changing his mind when it comes time to sit on Santa's lap try the following:

*Let him take a friend with him.

*Let him take his favorite snack with him, even it's something you prefer he doesn't have. After all, this is a special occasion and hopefully next year all will be well.

*Let him take his favorite toy to give him to give him courage.

Distraction Can Work Wonders

Distract your child so that he is more interested in his own thing, as apposed to the thing he may be fearing, which in this case is simply taking a Santa Photo.

*Use finger puppets for him to play with while waiting in line.; Let him keep the finger puppet on his finger throughout the entire process of sitting on Santa's lap to taking the picture.

*If your child is a learning buff then take flash cards small enough for him to hold in his hands and work them with him as you are standing in line.; Try and keep it going even seconds before it's his turn to walk up to Santa for the picture.

*Don't take time to try and get that perfect pose, perfect clothes and perfect smile. Often times the unposed moments are the most memorable memories and the better photos. Plus, too much fiddling around will only get you closer to a teary eyed crying photo.

Mom, Dad, or Both

A friend of mine took her 2 kids (2 years old and 4 years old) to have their picture taken with Santa. This was the second time they had tried it and both kids were screaming their lil heads off in fear. My friend then had a thought that was actually a great memory for herself and her kids.  She, at 40 years old had her picture taken with Santa while her kids watched in line.  It didn't convince them to have their picture taken at that time but when she took the picture home, compared it to her Santa pictures when she was a young girl and shared it with her kids, they wanted to go back and have their pictures done as well. The next day she took them and she finally has her first kids' Santa picture that she has so patiently waited for.

A great idea for a good laugh, original idea with a happy ending, and most of all now her kids want to go everyday for their Santa picture!

Try it and let me know if it works for you and don't forget to post me the picture, and your story, so I can share it on my Blogs.

Parenting Education when dealing with fear.

I have seen many Santa photos with screaming, crying, hysterical kids and it actually upsets me. A child's fear should never be dismissed, laughed at or taken lightly, especially for something as trivial as a photo. Although as adults we know that there is nothing for them to fear, a child does not have this same notion. Just as a woman would be scared to death to walk into a room with a rapist and have no protection, a child experiences that same fear, and even worse, as young children do not have the knowledge of time, or procedure in which they can rely on for comfort. As adults, We know the picture only takes seconds but a young child does not know seconds and does not know the procedure of the moment of fear he is involved in. Parents should never lesson their child's trust in them by forcing them to carry through with fearful moments.

In the event you are standing in line with your child, or actually get to the front of the line, it's your child's turn and suddenly everything changes and your child begins to show fear at sitting on Santa's lap for the photo, parents need to respect their child's feelings and gracefully and graciously accept it, support the child and remove them from the fearful situation - in this case pass on the picture taking event for the time being.

When you and your child leave the line, do not show disgrace, agitation or disappointment in your child. This will only make your child feel bad about himself and make him feel as though he is not good enough for you. It will also add trauma to the situation of Santa picture taking and can easily delay his acceptance of it when he remembers how mom or dad were angry at him for being scared, he will shy away from the process all together. In a nutshell, where there was no bad experience with Santa taking pictures, if a parent behaves badly for the failure of it, this causes a bad memory for your child and causes him stress in the process. You are also lessening his trust in you by not supporting him when he needs you most, and adding to a lack of self esteem.

Instead, compliment your child on how long he stood in line and how he was almost able to do it. Show support, love and tenderness and let him know he can always try again next year or in a week or so if he chooses. Once at home parents can release their frustrations by screaming into their pillow if they wish. Toddler Fears and Solutions

Bee Sting & Bug Bite First Aid and Natural Remedy Recipes

It is important that parents and caretakers have a first aid box and procedure book on hand, in the home, in the event of accidents, illnesses, and emergencies. Here are some natural ways to disinfect, soothe, and prevent further swelling of bug bites, bee and wasp stings and first aid procedure for removing a stinger.

Bug bites are often painful, terribly itchy, and can swell up to quite large.

A bee or wasp sting is painful and the sooner you remove the stinger and treat the wound, the better and faster there will be relief and less swelling.

You can easily and effectively treat bug bites, bee and wasp stings and even black widow spider bites with these natural remedies.

It is important to follow first aid procedures first before applying the remedy for healing.

First Aid Treatment

DO NOT SQUEEZE THE STINGER AT ALL WHILE IT IS STILL IN THE SKIN.

1. Remove the stinger carefully and slowly. DO NOT SQUEEZE IT. Squeezing it will release further venom into the blood stream. Immediately discard the stinger in the trash.

2. Clean the wound with an antiseptic.

Natural Remedies Recipes

Plantain Leaves Natural Remedy

1.  Crush plantain leaves to extract their juice.

2. Apply the juice over the wound and apply a loose band aid.

Toothpaste Home Remedy

1. Apply toothpaste to the wound and cover with a band aid.

Homeopathic Remedy #1

-Apply Apis Mallifica 30x to reduce inflammation, pain, burning and stinging.

-Cover with a band aid

Homeopathic Remedy #2

-Apply Cantharis 30c for bee or wasp stings and cover with a band aid.

Homeopathic Remedy #3 - For severe allergic reactions to bee stings or black widow bites

-Apply Carbolicum Acidum, 30 c and cover with a band aid

Homeopathic Remedy #4

For itching, pain, and burning

-Apply Urtica Urens, 30c and cover with band aid.

Insect Bite Oil

-1tsp lavender essential oil (stops itching and reduces swelling)

-1 tbls vegetable oil

-Mix ingredients and apply to the wound. Cover with band aid.

DO NOT USE THIS OIL AROUND EYE AREA

Extra strength Sting Paste

-1 tbls Echinacea root tincture

- 1 tbls distilled water

-1/8 tsp lavender essential oil

-1 tbls Bentonite clay

-Combine Echinacea, water, lavender and mix.

-While stirring the clay, slowly and gradually add the mixture.

-Apply this paste to the wound. It will stick to the skin.

Store the paste in an air tight container to avoid it drying out.  If it does dry out add a little water to bring it back to paste form.  Use over a few days if need be.

Avoid Mosquito bites with this natural remedy, which acts as a mosquito repellent.

-1 tsp Lavender oil

-Rosemary (seasoning from the grocery store)

-Grind both together and apply to your skin.

Do you know?

• Do you know that applying sugar over a bite wound will keep it from scarring?

• Do you know a slice of raw onion on an animal bite will fight infection and draw out any poison?

Parents can prepare the above natural remedies ahead of time, store them in an air tight container and keep them in the first aid box or natural remedy cabinet so they are ready to use when bug bites or bee stings occur.

Toddler Fears - Reasons and Solutions

-------------"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings." ~Hodding Carter, Jr.

It is perfectly normal for a toddler to have fears. Abnormal fears are ones in which you cannot get your toddler to focus on anything else because he is consumed with his fear. Obviously a fear such as this needs to be addressed differently. But today we are addressing fears that are normal for toddlers and how to help ease a toddlers anxiety and help him face and overcome his fears, through gentle, loving, heroic parenting.

The most common of toddler fears is strangers, someone coming to close, darkness, loud noises and crowded places. Sitting on the potty is also a common toddler fear, as well as going to the doctor or the doctor himself, nurses and the first day of school. These are the most common but are not by any means the only ones.


Their Fears are Fears Nonetheless


What may seem silly to an adult is not silly to your toddler. They are afraid of the dark because they cannot comprehend that light will chase it away. They may be afraid of strangers because there is no familiarity to them at all. They can be afraid of places because they cannot understand variety and differences in sounds, structures, etc and cannot understand how things are made and constructed. They feel overwhelmed and insecure, which then sets of their fear.

A toddlers fears should be handled constructively and taken seriously. You should not laugh or make fun of their fears, nor should you discount them and brush them under the rug figuring they will outgrow them. It is how they outgrow them that counts and to what degree of support they receive, that will have a huge baring on the length of time it takes for your toddler to overcome his fear, and the emotional impact it will have on him.

Observe and Pretend Play

Parents are aware of the importance a child's imagination plays in their growth and childhood. Fueling their imagination by encourage pretend play is on the list of priorities. However, with a growing imagination can come new fears, insecurities, and worries for a toddler.

Often times a child will display his fears through his toys during pretend play. Parents can observe their child when playing - don't disturb them in their imaginative world but watch and listen from a distance. If you see your child playing out his fears, watch him play it out and try and gain a sense of where the fear might be coming from. Talk to your child about it and offer a loving helping hand through understanding and advice. Another suggestion is to play along with your child, in pretend play, and destroy his fear. This is where mom and dad get to use their imagination to find a way for his toys to destroy his fear into thin air.

Bad Experience Fears

Toddlers will soon learn in some way or another that there are falls, scrapes, trips and embarrassing moments in their life. Riding a bike and falling off can put a fear in them about getting hurt and they don't want to get back on the bike again. Or, they try ice skating and fall, and vow to never go ice skating again. It is fears like this that can hold your child back from some of the splendid things in life for him.

It is your duty as a loving parent to help your toddler face his fears and get back on the pony. This is something adults have to do many many times in their life, and learning from a young age, with support and understanding will foster a more resilient child in adulthood.

• Help your child feel more confident in new situations.
  
  
• Take his fears seriously, offer support and reassurance for each episode of fear.
  

• Always be upbeat and positive when you deal with your toddler fears. You have to be solid, strong and secure, yet show that you are taking their fear seriously.
  

• Take the bad memories and turn them into good ones. Remind your child of the fun he had when he was riding his bike and how great the pictures are of his first bike ride. Don't pressure him, just remind him of the fun stuff.

• Be honest. If something is going to hurt don't say it won't . Reassure your child it will only last a second and give him something to look forward to after his ordeal.

• Avoid being overprotective.

• Don't over react. Avoid over reacting to small childhood falls, spills, trips and mess ups. Over reacting will cause an even more vivid memory for your toddler and also scare them, which only adds to trauma. If he sees you cool it helps him to realize it isn't such a big deal.

• Be aware of your child's temperament in order to gage his fears, and how best to help him.

• Be Patient. In time child will move forward and will find strength from you if you have been supportive, and will to take bolder steps.

• When discussing your child's fears with another person, make sure your child cannot hear your discussion.

Bedtime Fears

It is natural for a child to not want to go to bed. After all, the things in his life that make him feel secure and safe, he has to say goodbye to at bedtime, including his toys, mom and dad.

• Choose a soothing bedtime routine to perform on a nightly basis. Doing this will also help your child learn to sleep independently, lessening bedtime tantrums and waking up mom and dad in the middle of the night to help get him back to sleep. Baby Sleep Help - Early Prep for Toddlerhood
  

• For a 1 year old who wakes in the middle of night looking for reassurance, it is good to go your child's bedside and soothe him if necessary. Try not to take your child out of bed and refrain from taking him to your bed, so as not to start bad habits toward bedtime problems in the near future.

• Helping your child to stay in bed at night will help him face his fears of the dark and develop confidence when he realizes there is nothing to be afraid of, and night will soon turn to day. Help Baby Sleep through the Night - 4 Little Secrets

• Resist disturbing your child if you hear him playing in bed or talking to himself or his toys (venturing into pretend play). This is his way of dealing with his fears and helping to put himself back to sleep.

• Using pretend play and role playing can help with bedtime fears and fears of the dark as well, and are highly effective in soothing your child when mom or dad are involved.

• Keep an eye out for fears that could be phobias and will require professional attention. Phobias will disrupt your child's development and regular activities, and won't respond to repeated attempts of reassurance. The sooner you diagnose a phobia the sooner the treatment can take affect and help your child.

If mom and dad support, understand, sympathize, and work together with their child when their fears set in, your child will be assured of getting security and help when they need it and this will help them take the initial step in facing and then conquering toddler fears.

Related Links

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Help Baby Sleep through the Night - 4 Little Secrets

Quality and quantity baby sleep is highly essential to their growth, health and well being. However, it is an area parents struggle with every night. Either from a crying toddler not going to sleep or toddler night waking, which is hard on parents and toddler.

Here are four little secrets I like to call "Bedroom Delights" to help baby sleep through the night. Use these along with your chosen toddler sleep technique or routine to help with baby sleep problems.

1. Lil' light, lavender and Music

Lavender essential oil and music are a fabulous combination to relax and sooth the senses, which can help your toddler sleep at night. Simply do the following:

Sprinkle a FEW drops of lavender essential oil on his pillow. Take care to close the bottle tightly and put in away where baby can't reach it.

Play Soft, soothing music for him, preferably orchestra music. Do this before you read the story or sing a lullaby so your baby can begin to relax.

Put a nightlight in the baby's room so he doesn't feel afraid as much when you are not there.

2. Dancing fish - An Aquarium

Putting a small aquarium in my baby's room was one of my most successful ideas. It also functions as a great night light.

- Place it in an area where he can see it as he is lying down in his bed.

- Talk to him about the aquarium and how at bedtime he can watch the fish dance to the music. Give him 1-2 things to see or look for in the tank.

- When you are winding him down tell him he doesn't need to sleep (reverse psychology) but instead he can watch the fish dance to the music in the water, but must stay lying down in bed. Remember to put orchestra music for your child when you put him into bed.

- When you put him in his bed briefly remind him of the things to look for and the dancing fish.

- Do not take too long with the story and/or lullaby. It should be brief but not rushed.

3. Lets Make a Deal


IF you notice your baby is heading toward the crying stage, while on his way to bed something you can try is to make a deal with him that you will read 2 stories instead of 1, or 2 songs instead of 1, IF he promises to stay in bed and not cry. Don't push the words "Sleep" or that he "must go to sleep now". You must stick to your promise and he must stick to his. Remind him of this. Once again, consistency is key to success.

4. Control your emotions

Do not let your baby see or feel you get agitated or affected by his crying. Often when a child sees this it tells him his parents might weaken and allow him to get away with things. If you have to, step away for a minute and take a breather. Be sure your baby is in a safe place while you do this.

Avoid a crying toddler at bedtime and a toddler night waking scenario by putting a baby sleep technique into place. Good quality baby sleep is an essential part of their growth and for parents it is necessary so they too, can get a good night sleep.

These baby sleep tips can help in getting baby to sleep through the night. They can be utilized along with the baby sleep technique you put into place.

To your parenting success,



The Parent Fairy

Good Parenting - Top 3 Parenting Skills for Happy Kids

Love. Care. Time.

It is a challenge. It is the single most important role a person can ever tackle. It is parenting. Our children's future successes and problems stem around are abilities as parents. This alone can be an overwhelming feeling and responsibility. Thank heavens we don’t have to go it alone. Mind you, there is not a user manual for raising kids, but there is an abundance of parenting websites with professional guidance for the different areas of parenting and loads of guidance from parents themselves so you don’t have to go it alone.

In the hustle and bustle of it all, good parents with good parenting skills remember that while they are working for a better future, their kids are growing up and need their parents’ love, care and time. These are the three heavily valued offerings in parenting and each of these three areas encompasses a large spectrum.

Love
As parents we know how much we love our children. However, our children don’t know that. We tell them of course, but even then, for a child feeling the love is what lets them know they are loved.

Good parents adhere to the following on a daily basis:

• Keep the promises you make to your kids.
• Tell them everyday how much you love them.
• Teach them the things that are good for them every day. For example: the importance of healthy foods and the importance of exercise.
• Every day you should have a play time together with no distractions.
• Listen when your children talk to you and answer them. Acknowledge that you hear them. I know it can be overwhelming sometimes but you can use gestures, and smiles as well to let them know you see and hear what they are saying to you. This is the foundation for confidence and self-esteem and lets them know they matter.

Good parents ensure their children know how much you love them from now as opposed to them realizing it when they grow older and have kids of their own.

Care
There is emotional, cognitive and physical care.

Physical care encompasses all the tasks good parents do to take care of their kids and family on a whole. Washing, cooking, cleaning, buying toys and things to keep our kids safe, picking up friends, birthday parties, etc. Physical care is something done on auto pilot. It is so much a part of our everyday and every minute. However being on auto pilot and on overload is the culprit that causes parents to neglect the emotional and cognitive care of their children.

For emotional and cognitive care a good parent teach:

• How to handle emotions like fear and jealousy by talking things through and modeling good emotional behavior.
• They need to ensure their children put this into practice by having a social life with other children within his age group.
• Make sure your child is challenged intellectually every day through conversation, games and books, extracurricular activities, outings where he can learn things, see and experience the world around him.

Time
Such an important gift. Wouldn’t you say? How many times have you heard a person say, “There just isn’t enough time in the day for everything that needs to be done.”? As adults we don’t have enough time to take care of all our responsibilities in the day, and it is for this reason parents tend to short their children of their time.

Time devoted to your children needs to be undertaken every day. Not every once in a while, or once a month, or when you have an extra minute from your busy schedule, but every day. Good parents give their child the gift of their time and attention every day and their children reap tremendous rewards.

Giving your child your time and attention is the surest way to demonstrate your love to your child. Time also enables a good parent to know his child by talking to him, spending time and seeing how he operates, what he likes and doesn’t like, how he grows and matures and what areas are his strengths and weaknesses. This is important because one role of good parenting is to build your child’s strengths and strengthen his weaknesses. This will be of huge benefit to him as an older child and in adulthood.

There are many tasks parents undertake daily and can be done partially with their children. Toddlers love to help with tasks. Let them be involved for a little while and help you. This is also a fabulous learning time for your child. He can see how you do things with care and love.

It isn’t easy all the time to encompass these areas every day and every parent knows this so don’t feel bad if you feel this way. However, you will find that each time you work on these areas you will enjoy it. In the times that you don’t just think about a new way of handling that situation so as to make it better the next time.

Use the 3 offerings of love, care and time in your parenting. The difference they make in your child’s growth and well-being are beyond measurable.

Today's Parental Attribute is:

Being a parent entails having certain attributes that make us good at raising kids. Sometimes these attributes come naturally to us sometimes they don’t. If they don’t, you have to work on them just like you expect your kids to work on their shortcomings.

One of these attributes is Patience. Yep, a biggie I know! Today, when at home, ask yourself, am I showing patience in my parenting today? Answer yourself truthfully, no one can hear you. Then adjust your behavior according to your answer.

Remember, parents have to grow into parenting just like their kids grow into adulthood. Much is a learning experience. So, learn it, use it, benefit from it.

Help Baby Sleep through the Night - The Solution!

A baby sleep technique is a simple method that a parent can follow to teach their child how to fall to sleep on his or her own and help baby sleep through the night - giving parents and child a peaceful night sleep.

Why Parents should know more about baby sleep techniques

Any parent who has a crying toddler / child that won't go to sleep in at night or has night waking episodes and won't go back to sleep on his own, should learn about baby sleep techniques. Some parents think that if a child won't sleep they have to just wait and wait until they grow out of it. This simply isn't the case as any parent can quickly learn the techniques that will help their child to sleep through the night. Children, particularly babies and toddler must have a certain amount of quality sleep per night for his health and well being. A toddler, baby or child that is not sleeping at the required time is therefore losing sleep. Night waking also causes loss of sleep, and interrupts a good nights sleep.

The Biggest Mistake a Parent Can Make In Getting Baby To Sleep… And
How To Avoid It?

Possibly one of the biggest mistakes that parents make is inadvertently teaching their baby bad sleeping habits.

For example…

If a baby is frequently rocked to sleep in a parent's arms, the child begins to depend on this rocking to get him or her to sleep. Before long, a habit is formed and so the baby will never go to sleep unless rocked.

This means that every time the child wakes, he or she will cry and cry until again they are rocked to sleep. This problem can be avoided by creating a good baby sleep routine (see below and ensuring that your baby goes to sleep in his or her cot rather than in your arms.

Your Best Solution For Getting Baby To Sleep Through the Night Within
The Next 7 Days
 

Because there is not a single solution that will work for every child, I would
recommend that a parent…
· Firstly, listens to all of the sleep techniques in The Baby Sleep Solution
audio program
· Immediately begins a suitable bedtime routine for their child, and…
· Choose one of the major sleep techniques and follow it for the next 7 days.

Because the audio program contains a number of very effective techniques that have been proven to work time after time, each parent is free to choose the sleep technique that he or she thinks is most relevant for their child.

Your Best Options For Addressing a Baby or Toddler not sleeping

3 Shortcuts For Getting Any Baby To Sleep
Without wishing to give away the most powerful baby sleep techniques that are included in The Baby Sleep Solution, here are a few shortcuts that parents can try immediately.

Don't be fooled into thinking that these are too simple and not worth trying though… I have many emails from happy parents who have got their baby sleeping with these few tips alone!

Shortcut 1 - The Importance Of Where Your Baby Falls Asleep
It is quite normal for parents, and in particular first-time parents to allow their baby to fall asleep wherever they want to. Sometimes of course, it may seem like a godsend if they fall asleep at all and you would be happy for them to just sleep anywhere! However, allowing your baby to fall asleep while breast-feeding, in your arms, or even in a pushchair in your living room could be what is causing their sleep problems. You may well be asking how this could possibly cause sleep problems?

Well, quite naturally, when your baby goes to sleep somewhere that is not his or her bedroom, you will then move them to their crib or cot so they can continue sleeping peacefully. But when your little one then wakes during the night, as most babies do, they will suddenly find themselves in different surroundings to what they expected… and this can be very unnerving and scary for them.

Your Best Options For addressing Baby and Toddler Sleep Issues

Imagine that tonight you were to fall asleep normally in your own bed. Now imagine that, some time in the middle of the night, you awaken. There's just one thing. When you wake up, you're lying on your front porch and not in your bed! Might you be a little bit out of sorts from this? I certainly would be. But that's exactly what you're doing by letting baby fall asleep in his or her Mother's arms in one room and waking up in a totally different environment! It kind of makes sense when you think about it that way.

So…
Your best bet on location is for your child to fall asleep in the same place as
he or she will spend the night.

All children wake briefly many times during the night… this is perfectly normal. If they wake in the same crib, in the same room, with the same lighting, and the same sounds, as when they fall asleep, they will slip back to sleep much more easily.

So, this is something you can try TONIGHT…
When your child is tired, ensure they're in their own crib, in their own room before
they go off to sleep. Even if it means you need to sit in their room for half an hour or so before they drift off, you'll soon see that this slight change will make quite a difference!


Your Best Options For Getting Baby to Sleep through the Night

Shortcut 2 - Develop a Proper Bedtime Routine ...... And Stick To It!
Going to sleep is a habit. And a consistent bedtime routine helps your child
develop this habit. Typically, a good Pre-Toddler's Sleep Routine to combat infant sleep problems is:

Baby Routine Sample

- A bath or baby sleep massage
- Breast / bottle feed
- Cuddle a bit until tired (but not overtired)
- Sleep

If your child is a newborn, washing his or her face and hands may replace a full bath.

For a toddler, the routine is a little different. The need for a pre-bedtime feeding is gone. Toddlers also need more mental stimulation, so stories or lullabies are often a good bet. A good Toddler Bedtime Routine may look more like the following....

Toddler Routine Sample

· A bath or Baby Sleep Massage
· Perhaps a short playtime
· Brush teeth
· Tell some stories while sitting in your lap and cuddling
· Maybe a goodnight song, and
· Lay in crib while tired but still awake

Whatever you decide to include in your baby's bedtime routine is entirely up to you. A bath is a good starting signal for the routine, some element of relaxed cuddling is helpful, and most of the rest is based on what you need to get done for your child. Therefore the crux is that when you've developed a sleep routine for your child it is VERY important to keep the routine consistent and to follow it night after night after night. This consistent routine will help your child to quickly develop a regular sleep pattern.

One last point. Dimming the lights somewhat as bedtime approaches is extremely important to regulating your child's biological rhythms. Light is one of the most important external cues regulating these rhythms, and one study showed that as little as a single 100-watt light bulb at ten feet was sufficient to disrupt sleep patterns in some people.

Your Best Options to Avoid Baby and Toddler Night Waking

Shortcut 3 - Naps
Naps are under appreciated tools in the quest for an easy bedtime. While they obviously don't happen at bedtime, they can significantly help or hinder your bedtime experience.

The three main points to keep in mind with naps are:
· How many naps
· How long the naps are, and…
· When they occur

Typically, your child will be napping three times a day up to around nine months to a year old, two times a day until around eighteen months to two years, and once a day until he or she is about three. As the age approaches during which children typically drop a nap, be aware of signs that your child is trying to drop a nap, and follow the cues rather than leading him or her. A good nap should last at least an hour.

A newborn will nap around two to three hours, and this will decrease to around one and-a-half to two hours by six months. By one year of age, when a child is typically napping twice a day, the nap time may be around one to one and-a-half hours a day. This will increase somewhat when the second nap is dropped, and there is often a time when one nap is not quite enough but two is too much.

Your Best Options For ensuring Baby Sleep

Nap time should occur at roughly the same time of day. If a nap is too late in the day, your child will have problems falling asleep because he or she is not tired. If it's too early, baby may have problems falling asleep because he or she is overtired. Typically the naps should be roughly evenly spaced in the daytime hours, so that each block of waking time is similar in duration. If your child is very far off on any of these standards, naps may be contributing to sleeping problems at night. Most often, problems occur from too little napping and an overtired child.

If you think this may be a problem, try to make sure that your child is in a stable place each day at nap time (a moving car does not usually result in good sleep). Try to encourage naps in their own crib if possible. If not, use the same place every day. Many parents find that a simple change in the number of naps, nap length or nap timing can solve a child's nighttime sleep issues.

Lastly for this tip, nap time can serve as a good starting place for building nighttime sleep patterns. If your child is at home in the daytime, you can start to implement the right sleep habits at nap time before trying them at bedtime.

Your Best Options For Getting Any Baby To Sleep


The Absolute Easiest Way To Mess Up Your Chances Of Getting Your Baby To Sleep

The easiest way to mess up your chances of getting your baby to sleep is to NOT keep to a suitable bedtime routine on a daily basis. Babies (just like adults) are creatures of habit and will quickly get used to the fact that their bedtime routine means it is time to sleep. Having a bedtime routine that changes every day means your baby is less likely to drop to sleep on his or her own, and you are wasting your efforts. Consistency, along with gentleness is key to success for this project.

The ONE Thing You Should Do Right Now To Get Your Baby To Sleep through the night is keep a sleep diary!

As you create a sleep routine for your baby and start to use some of the techniques with your baby it is important that you keep a diary of what you have done (and when), as well as information on how well your child has slept. This way it's easy to see what works and what doesn't for your child.

Your Best Options For Getting Any Baby To Sleep

Best Resources For Getting Baby To Sleep

One of the great things about The Baby Sleep Solution is that everything a parent needs to assist with baby sleep problems and getting baby to sleep through the night, every night, is included in the program.

It's a guaranteed parental treasure and is accompanied by 4 bonus'. Have a listen to the sample.

 

Help Baby Sleep through the Night.