Showing posts with label toddler fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toddler fear. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

5 Secrets To A Smiling Santa Photo

So you want that perfect, smiling Santa photo do you? Are you going to get one this year or is it going to be a screaming nightmare?

My daughter turned five years old this year and until now I do not have a Santa photo of her for Christmas' past. Why? Simple, being a shy child, who would not let anyone hold her except her father and I (not even grandparents), I knew there was no point in taking her to have her picture taken with Santa unless I could be happy with a picture like this one on the right, and feel good about it which I would not have.

So I learned to do without the Santa photos over the past 4 years but have come into possession of some very helpful tips to help avoid screaming and fear over sitting on Santa's lap for a picture.

Before we get into getting that non screaming picture with Santa it is important for parents to know how to handle the situation of fear with their child correctly for good and positive parenting. As parents we need to learn how to support our child in times of fear, as baby to child years has many different fears, which we as adults cannot gauge but a child's fears are just as bad as ours and worse, because young kids do not have a concept of time, or procedure in which to rely on for support in facing their fears. They only have us, their parents and how we handle their fears and get them through it in a positive nature is highly important toward their mental and psychological growth and toward their confidence as an older child and adult.

Toward the end of this article are you will find important information on handling a young child's fear in situations and the reasons behind why it is important to do.

Now here are some secrets to eliminating a precious but screaming face in your child's Santa Photo

Familiarize Your Child

It's helpful if your child is familiar with Santa Clause and is able to see him in real life, as apposed to just TV or books. Let your child see other children sitting on Santa's lap and taking pictures, but don't make a big deal about it. As your walking and shopping be sure to pass by the Santa's Grotto so your child can see Santa and his interaction with other kids.

Ask your child if he wants a picture taken with Santa and evaluate his response. If he seems to hesitant, offer to take the picture with him. If he seems ready to go for it then take him back to the picture taking session the following day. It is suggested this conversation take place after leaving the shopping center as apposed to doing it right in front of Santa's Grotto. This is so that your child feels relaxed and not put on the spot while he assess the situation. If he decides to go for it, take your child back to Santa's Grotto the following day.

Friends, Toys and Snacks

Kids often want to do something but their fear holds them back. To assist your child in not changing his mind when it comes time to sit on Santa's lap try the following:

*Let him take a friend with him.

*Let him take his favorite snack with him, even it's something you prefer he doesn't have. After all, this is a special occasion and hopefully next year all will be well.

*Let him take his favorite toy to give him to give him courage.

Distraction Can Work Wonders

Distract your child so that he is more interested in his own thing, as apposed to the thing he may be fearing, which in this case is simply taking a Santa Photo.

*Use finger puppets for him to play with while waiting in line.; Let him keep the finger puppet on his finger throughout the entire process of sitting on Santa's lap to taking the picture.

*If your child is a learning buff then take flash cards small enough for him to hold in his hands and work them with him as you are standing in line.; Try and keep it going even seconds before it's his turn to walk up to Santa for the picture.

*Don't take time to try and get that perfect pose, perfect clothes and perfect smile. Often times the unposed moments are the most memorable memories and the better photos. Plus, too much fiddling around will only get you closer to a teary eyed crying photo.

Mom, Dad, or Both

A friend of mine took her 2 kids (2 years old and 4 years old) to have their picture taken with Santa. This was the second time they had tried it and both kids were screaming their lil heads off in fear. My friend then had a thought that was actually a great memory for herself and her kids.  She, at 40 years old had her picture taken with Santa while her kids watched in line.  It didn't convince them to have their picture taken at that time but when she took the picture home, compared it to her Santa pictures when she was a young girl and shared it with her kids, they wanted to go back and have their pictures done as well. The next day she took them and she finally has her first kids' Santa picture that she has so patiently waited for.

A great idea for a good laugh, original idea with a happy ending, and most of all now her kids want to go everyday for their Santa picture!
Try it and let me know if it works for you and don't forget to post me the picture, and your story, so I can share it on my Blogs.
Parenting Education when dealing with fear.

I have seen many Santa photos with screaming, crying, hysterical kids and it actually upsets me. A child's fear should never be dismissed, laughed at or taken lightly, especially for something as trivial as a photo. Although as adults we know that there is nothing for them to fear, a child does not have this same notion. Just as a woman would be scared to death to walk into a room with a rapist and have no protection, a child experiences that same fear, and even worse, as young children do not have the knowledge of time, or procedure in which they can rely on for comfort. As adults, We know the picture only takes seconds but a young child does not know seconds and does not know the procedure of the moment of fear he is involved in. Parents should never lesson their child's trust in them by forcing them to carry through with fearful moments.

In the event you are standing in line with your child, or actually get to the front of the line, it's your child's turn and suddenly everything changes and your child begins to show fear at sitting on Santa's lap for the photo, parents need to respect their child's feelings and gracefully and graciously accept it, support the child and remove them from the fearful situation - in this case pass on the picture taking event for the time being.

When you and your child leave the line, do not show disgrace, agitation or disappointment in your child. This will only make your child feel bad about himself and make him feel as though he is not good enough for you. It will also add trauma to the situation of Santa picture taking and can easily delay his acceptance of it when he remembers how mom or dad were angry at him for being scared, he will shy away from the process all together. In a nutshell, where there was no bad experience with Santa taking pictures, if a parent behaves badly for the failure of it, this causes a bad memory for your child and causes him stress in the process. You are also lessening his trust in you by not supporting him when he needs you most, and adding to a lack of self esteem.

Instead, compliment your child on how long he stood in line and how he was almost able to do it. Show support, love and tenderness and let him know he can always try again next year or in a week or so if he chooses. Once at home parents can release their frustrations by screaming into their pillow if they wish. Toddler Fears and Solutions

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Toddler Fears - Reasons and Solutions

As Featured On EzineArticles

-------------"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings."
~Hodding Carter, Jr.


It is perfectly normal for a toddler to have fears. Abnormal fears are ones in which you cannot get your toddler to focus on anything else because he is consumed with his fear. Obviously a fear such as this needs to be addressed differently. But today we are addressing fears that are normal for toddlers and how to help ease a toddlers anxiety and help him face and overcome his fears, through gentle, loving, heroic parenting.

The most common of toddler fears is strangers, someone coming to close, darkness, loud noises and crowded places. Sitting on the potty is also a common toddler fear, as well as going to the doctor or the doctor himself, nurses and the first day of school. These are the most common but are not by any means the only ones.


Their Fears are Fears Nonetheless


What may seem silly to an adult is not silly to your toddler. They are afraid of the dark because they cannot comprehend that light will chase it away. They may be afraid of strangers because there is no familiarity to them at all. They can be afraid of places because they cannot understand variety and differences in sounds, structures, etc and cannot understand how things are made and constructed. They feel overwhelmed and insecure, which then sets of their fear.

A toddlers fears should be handled constructively and taken seriously. You should not laugh or make fun of their fears, nor should you discount them and brush them under the rug figuring they will outgrow them. It is how they outgrow them that counts and to what degree of support they receive, that will have a huge baring on the length of time it takes for your toddler to overcome his fear, and the emotional impact it will have on him.

Observe and Pretend Play

Parents are aware of the importance a child's imagination plays in their growth and childhood. Fueling their imagination by encourage pretend play is on the list of priorities. However, with a growing imagination can come new fears, insecurities, and worries for a toddler.

Often times a child will display his fears through his toys during pretend play. Parents can observe their child when playing - don't disturb them in their imaginative world but watch and listen from a distance. If you see your child playing out his fears, watch him play it out and try and gain a sense of where the fear might be coming from. Talk to your child about it and offer a loving helping hand through understanding and advice. Another suggestion is to play along with your child, in pretend play, and destroy his fear. This is where mom and dad get to use their imagination to find a way for his toys to destroy his fear into thin air.

Bad Experience Fears

Toddlers will soon learn in some way or another that there are falls, scrapes, trips and embarrassing moments in their life. Riding a bike and falling off can put a fear in them about getting hurt and they don't want to get back on the bike again. Or, they try ice skating and fall, and vow to never go ice skating again. It is fears like this that can hold your child back from some of the splendid things in life for him.

It is your duty as a loving parent to help your toddler face his fears and get back on the pony. This is something adults have to do many many times in their life, and learning from a young age, with support and understanding will foster a more resilient child in adulthood.
  • Help your child feel more confident in new situations.

  • Take his fears seriously, offer support and reassurance for each episode of fear.
  • Always be upbeat and positive when you deal with your toddler fears. You have to be solid, strong and secure, yet show that you are taking their fear seriously.
  • Take the bad memories and turn them into good ones. Remind your child of the fun he had when he was riding his bike and how great the pictures are of his first bike ride. Don't pressure him, just remind him of the fun stuff.
  • Be honest. If something is going to hurt don't say it won't . Reassure your child it will only last a second and give him something to look forward to after his ordeal.
  • Avoid being overprotective.
  • Don't over react. Avoid over reacting to small childhood falls, spills, trips and mess ups. Over reacting will cause an even more vivid memory for your toddler and also scare them, which only adds to trauma. If he sees you cool it helps him to realize it isn't such a big deal.
  • Be aware of your child's temperament in order to gage his fears, and how best to help him.
  • Be Patient. In time child will move forward and will find strength from you if you have been supportive, and will to take bolder steps.
  • When discussing your child's fears with another person, make sure your child cannot hear your discussion.

    Bedtime Fears

    It is natural for a child to not want to go to bed. After all, the things in his life that make him feel secure and safe, he has to say goodbye to at bedtime, including his toys, mom and dad.
    • Choose a soothing bedtime routine to perform on a nightly basis. Doing this will also help your child learn to sleep independently, lessening bedtime tantrums and waking up mom and dad in the middle of the night to help get him back to sleep. Baby Sleep Help - Early Prep for Toddlerhood
    • For a 1 year old who wakes in the middle of night looking for reassurance, it is good to go your child's bedside and soothe him if necessary. Try not to take your child out of bed and refrain from taking him to your bed, so as not to start bad habits toward bedtime problems in the near future.
    • Resist disturbing your child if you hear him playing in bed or talking to himself or his toys (venturing into pretend play). This is his way of dealing with his fears and helping to put himself back to sleep.
    • Using pretend play and role playing can help with bedtime fears and fears of the dark as well, and are highly effective in soothing your child when mom or dad are involved.
    • Keep an eye out for fears that could be phobias and will require professional attention. Phobias will disrupt your child's development and regular activities, and won't respond to repeated attempts of reassurance. The sooner you diagnose a phobia the sooner the treatment can take affect and help your child.
    If mom and dad support, understand, sympathize, and work together with their child when their fears set in, your child will be assured of getting security and help when they need it and this will help them take the initial step in facing and then conquering toddler fears.

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